And the award for People Who Deserve A Punch In the Throat goes to:
Parents that use the "group gift" as a cover for being cheap-ass bastards
Dear Cheap-Ass Bastard Parent,
I want to thank you for seeking me out when you heard that I would be willing to oversee a group gift for our childrens' class. When I agreed to collect $, purchase holiday gifts and hand out cards for our wonderful teachers (all four of them) whom our children adore, I purposely left it to your discretion to come up with an amount you found suitable for your family and your budget. I have to admit, I was a little surprised to find your $7 check in my child's backpack. The oddity of a $7 contribution was a bit unusual, but also because you have two children in that class and it works out to be an $.88 cent contribution per child for each of the teachers. The confusion was cleared up for me though, when I read your facebook postings on some upcoming expenses. I should have know that you were strapped for cash because of the hundreds of dollars of liquor you purchased for your family's annual holiday party this weekend. I think the exact figure was $346.27, right? That's the caption on your facebook picture anyway. Couple that with your New Year's trip to Aspen with your family of four and that makes you nearly destitute. So, it's completely understandable why you'd think that $7 is a reasonable contribution. Fortunately, the other parents that contributed were a little more generous and we were able to pull together a good sum to put towards the gifts cards. A little voice deep, down inside me tells me that's what you were counting on. That other parents would pick up your slack and you'd still be associated with this thoughtful group of parents because you contributed something. Shame on you! Therefore, the award for People Who Deserve A Punch In the Throat goes to you!
Sincerely,
Mrs. Green
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